As a child grows, people’s expectation from him or her begins to widen. The child is usually at the center of everyone’s view. From parents, to family, to friends and the entire society, the child is expected to fulfil certain tasks at certain ages. When the child does so correctly, the child is seen as worthwhile and perhaps a better kid, if otherwise, questions begin to arise and people ask, what is wrong with the kid?
Many a times, the child is placed in a position he or she never bargained for. From meeting family demands to school work then to society’s expectations from him or her, the child begins to navigate his or her actions to soothe those of the society rather than his or her self. Rather than chasing personal dreams, the child begins to live a life created by the society.
Usually, the child goes through the process as a way of impressing others rather than fulfilling his goals, dreams and aspirations. Occasionally, meeting up expectations may become challenging, he begins to chase courage and source for motivation. These oftentimes may not come when needed, and when external motivation seizes, the child gets sucks up. Withdrawal tendency sets in, self blaming begins and alas, the once upon a time successful child begins to struggle.
Setting standards for the child should never be placed far above the child’s personality. When the set goals, standards and aspiration set are inline with those of the child, achieving them becomes a less difficult encounter, for the child rather than seeking external motivation is internally motivated.
In all we do, motivation is vital, it is a way of helping us develop. Motivation as earlier identified could be intrinsic or extrinsic. Usually when praises, accolades, are showered on the child externally, the child begins to create a Stimulus-Response behavioral pattern. The child begins to associate success to external rewards. When rewards seizes, the level of association may begin to decline over time, except when the child values exceptionally what he or she does.
Intrinsic motivation is motivation from within. The child gets an internal push to attain certain heights, achieve certain tasks, rather than depending on an external stimuli. The child self-motivates his or her self and learns to be independent early enough.
Usually, the society rewards good behavior by praising the child and giving a negative reinforcer to the child when the child fails to achieve or attain certain expected limits. It is thus imperative for the family, friends and the society at large to help reposition the thinking process of the child to those that urges them to break boundaries, set new records and attain greater height.
Children should be given the privilege to explore and find what truly makes them happy, parents, friends and the society should help realign the child’s thought if found to be contrary rather than imposing on the child, for when tasks are imposed on the child, the child is made to live within his shell rather than thinking outside the box.